tehhumi

fail_fandomanon had "Your OTP as an r/relationships post" a couple posts ago, and I wrote this. A week later, I have finally remembered to post it here!


Title: My[22M] boyfriend[24M] is weirdly devoted to his recently-deceased dad

I know everyone's going to think I'm a jerk, but hear me out please. I really need some outside perspective on the situation.
My boyfriend's dad really cared about his kids, and they all loved him too. The problem was that he was super hotheaded and always dragged them into things. Some examples:
- The time he threatened to kill my dad, and then the entire family including my boyfriend left town and stopped talking to anyone here. (Yes, we were dating at the time.)
- The time I waded into what I thought was my boyfriend getting beat up by a gang. Turns out his dad had tried to steal the leader's sweet ride, and got caught. My boyfriend and his brothers jumped in to help, and would have lost if me and my friends hadn't seen it. The police got involved, and now we all have a rap sheet because my boyfriend's dad has no impulse control.
- My family and my boyfriend's family were both going to move across the country, and coordinate the driving convoy-style so we would have familiar faces the whole way. His dad left early, and took the (agreed to be shared) moving van before we could load our furniture (all the hotel reservations were in my boyfriend's dad's name as well, so my family was out a significant chunk of change). My boyfriend apparently argued with his dad about this, but didn't stop him or call me at any point.
Shortly after moving, my boyfriend's dad died suddenly. My boyfriend tried to get 'revenge' for him, and I had to bail him out.
I've been trying to be sympathetic with my boyfriend. I've luckily never had a parent die, so I know I don't know what he's going through. His parents are divorced, so my boyfriend feels like he has to take care of his family now (he's the oldest).
But he keeps talking about his father's legacy. He's focused particularly on some knickknacks his dad made, and says it's not right for them to be in the hands of someone outside the family. The knickknacks were stolen, and there's a police report, but my boyfriend wants to steal them back himself. He always brings every conversation back to them! I tried asking him if we could talk about something else, and he said that he'd "already let Dad down enough." (His dad never liked me. It was mutual.)
I can't bring this up with anyone who knows me IRL, because they either don't know we're dating or would tell me to dump him. But my boyfriend is a really sweet guy, and I feel like being in a new place could be really good for us. Is this just normal grieving? At what point do I sit my boyfriend down and say that we need to talk about 'us', not just his dad?

I think that Maedhros and Finarfin were really close friends when they were kids.
Feanor never particularly loved his step mother and half siblings, but he didn’t really dislike them either until Fingolfin grew old enough to be a political rival. He mostly viewed them as “people who are also frequently at many of the same places I am”, like workers in a different department of the same business in a small town. You nod and acknowledge them, but don’t think about them the moment they leave sight.
Finarfin is 61 years younger than Feanor, and we know that Feanor married young. Given how many kids he and Nerdanel ended up with, I assume they started soon.
So when Finarfin was born, Feanor thought “Huh, this acquaintance (Indis) has a kid only a year younger than mine. If we take turns watching the babies, I can get a lot more work done.” Indis figured this was a good way to get Feanor to spend time at least near his siblings, and hopefully work up to “interacting with them on their own merits.”
By the time Fingolfin was an adult, Maedhros and Finarfin were already close friends. And it’s not like the tension appeared overnight, so there was a while where Finarfin and Maedhros just kind of ignored that their parents knew each other at all.

( Fic of them hanging out as teenagers )

on Ao3: Anger Enough or Despair
Fandom: the Silmarillion (JRR Tolkien)
Pairing: Curufin /Maedhros
Warnings: Rape, Bad guys made them do it, suicide reference, sibling incest
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 3393
Summary: At the Dagor Bragollach, the pass of Aglon was overrun by Morgoth's forces, but many of its people escaped, and the orcs were eventually driven back by Maedhros.
This is a story if the Feanorians' luck had been a little worse.

Or, the second time Maedhros is captive in Angband is not any more pleasant than the first.

B2MeM Prompt, Card and Number: Keep it in the Family: Maedhros/Fingon/Finrod O67; Song Lyrics 2: Why would a star, a star ever be afraid of the dark? O67; Cause of Death: Suicide I25, Blood Loss G57, Drowning I16, Torture B9, Poison I18, Shock O72, Illness O66, Dehydration B15
Format: Short story
Genre: Slash
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Cousin incest, somewhat graphic discussion of death and injury
Characters: Maedhros, Finrod, Fingon
Pairings: Maedhros/Fingon/Finrod
Summary: There's a masquerade ball in Tirion for the Returned, with a slightly morbid theme.
Creator’s Notes: I use 'Valinorean' here to mean those who did not go to Beleriand until the War of Wrath, as distinct from the Noldorin Exiles who are also Calaquendi.
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