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tehhumion Ao3: All the things I didn't do for you
Fandom: the Silmarillion (JRR Tolkien)
Pairing: Celebrimbor/Curufin
Warnings: No major archive warnings apply, father/son incest, emotional manipulation
Rating: Teen
Word count: 1645
Summary: Curufin is returned to life in Valinor, and meets with his son again. Not that Celebrimbor sees himself as such - he'd much prefer a different role in Curufin's new life...
Fandom: the Silmarillion (JRR Tolkien)
Pairing: Celebrimbor/Curufin
Warnings: No major archive warnings apply, father/son incest, emotional manipulation
Rating: Teen
Word count: 1645
Summary: Curufin is returned to life in Valinor, and meets with his son again. Not that Celebrimbor sees himself as such - he'd much prefer a different role in Curufin's new life...
Curufin walked out of Lorien. He didn’t know where he was going, but he had finally been permitted to return from death, and he was not going to spend another minute in the realm of any Vala.
After a few hours, he came across another elf.
“Hello Curufin.”
“Tyelpe?”
“I prefer Celebrimbor.”
“I’m sorry for what I did-”
Celebrimbor cut him off. “None of your crimes were against me. And I like the person I’ve become on my own, so I won’t hear apologies for leaving me in Nargothrond either.”
Curufin was not expecting that. They walked in silence for a bit.
“I didn’t expect this path to be heavily travelled – I’m surprised I ran into you.”
“It’s not. Lord Irmo notifies the next of kin when someone returns, to help the newly alive adjust. My mother lives in Alqualondë and does her best to stay completely away from Noldor, so she was not considered.”
“And so Irmo notified you?”
“He notified Caranthir, who has been staying at my house.”
“Thank you for coming.”
Celebrimbor nodded.
“I’d be interested to see anything you’ve crafted. By all accounts, you designed amazing things in Middle Earth.”
“Well yes, I could hardly let the name of Feanor be associated with poor quality.”
“What about the name Curufinwe?”
“The name Curufinwe is best known for trying—and failing—to kill a mortal who insulted his pride. Not really a reputation to build on.”
“That’s all?”
“What else would it be?”
“I am a smith, and forged armor that withstood all weapons!”
“What great work did you create? Feanor built the Silmarils and the palantiri. I made the rings of power and the gates of Khazad-dum. But Curufin left no artifacts, no legacy.”
“I created you. I consider that a good legacy.”
“I don’t. I owe little to you.”
“Why then come and walk this far with me?”
“I don’t consider myself Curufinwion, but I have upheld the legacy of Feanor still. I would not leave a kinsman out alone.”
“That’s what you call me? A kinsman, not a father?”
“You said yourself that I was no longer your son if I disobeyed you, so I see no reason to consider you my father. I lived a dozen yeni without you in my life, I am not going to bow to you now.”
“I’m not asking you to. But I still think we know each other better than, say, Aegnor or Eärendil, or anyone ese you might call kinsman.”
“Perhaps. But I am your equal, whether or not you wish it.”
“I never thought you were inferior. Would you accept brothers?”
“I would.”
“It is good to be with family then, my brother Celebrimbor.”
“Indeed it is, my brother Curufin,” Celebrimbor said with a smile.
The two of them made it back to Celebrimbor’s house shortly after nightfall. The front path was lit with a Feanorian lamp.
“Caranthir didn’t wait up or us?” Curufin asked on seeing the dark house.
“He’s staying with his mother tonight. He expected there to be a lot of shouting, and wanted to make sure his own chance to shout at you would be uninterrupted.”
“What about? It’s not like he left a lot unsaid while we were alive, and we died within hours of each other.”
“You’d have to ask him, I stopped keeping track of which family members are angry with each other if it’s not life-threatening; the number of grudges is simply unmanageable otherwise.”
Curufin paused at the gate. “Was Caranthir right to worry about yelling?”
“We’ll see how the night goes. Come inside, I’ll find something for dinner.”
Celebrimbor had bread and vegetables in his kitchen, and fresh eggs form the hens out back, so they ate sandwiches. Talk over dinner was stilted, but not angry.
They washed their plates, standing beside each other at the sink. Celebrimbor brushed against Curufin frequently. When they were done, he leaned in and kissed Curufin on the cheek. He stroked his hand in Curufin’s hair and did not move away.
“Celebrimbor, what are you doing?”
“I thought it was obvious, but I shall try again.” Celebrimbor kissed his father on the lips this time, running his tongue across the seam where his mouth was stubbornly set closed.
After a moment of surprise, Curufin pulled back sharply. “No!”
Celebrimbor stayed where he was leaning against the counter. “Why not?”
“Have you gone mad—even if you wish to forget it, I fathered you. And even if you insist I am now your brother, that is still too close of kin!”
“Stop being so self-righteous.”
“That seems like a poor characterization of not wanting to kiss family members.”
“I am merely enjoying time with my brother in the traditional manner of Feanor’s sons. You’ll have to come with a different reason to drive me away.”
All the color drained from Curufin’s face. “How do you know about that?”
“How do I know that you and Celegorm were fornicating down the hall from me for four hundred years? Give me some credit. And even if I had been stupid enough not to see it then, I led the house of Feanor for half an age—any secrets known to our followers are mine as soon as I wish to know.”
“I never thought you were stupid.”
“Just naïve and childish. Well, I am no longer a child, and I want you.”
“Just because Celegorm and I—”
“And Maglor and Caranthir and all the rest of them, don’t pretend it was exclusive.”
“It still doesn’t mean that I wish to do anything with you, or now.”
“I think you do. I remember how sensitive my body was my first day back. I bet you’re already hard just from one little kiss. Imagine how good it will be if you touch my cock—or yours.”
Curufin moved away. “I will not have sex with the son of my body, the son I raised from birth!”
Celebrimbor made no move to follow, merely crossed his arms and looked levelly at Curufin. “Of course, I will not force you. If you don’t want to lie with me, you can spend the night in Caranthir’s room.”
“And tomorrow?”
“I believe I have made it clear that I have no use for a father. If you insist on treating me as your son, then you can go wherever will take you in. Formenos still has loyalty to Feanor for some reason.”
“That’s it? We haven’t seen each other in literal ages, and you would send me away after one night?”
“There are many others, some who you haven’t seen in just as long, who I’m sure would send you away on sight.”
“Not family—of the house of Feanor.”
“That’s because the rest of the family is dead, not for any virtue on your part.”
“If you think so little of me, wouldn’t you prefer a lover you held in more esteem?”
“I would prefer that you understand I know my own mind. I have had many years to consider this meeting, and what I want from you.”
“And what you want is my body, not my love or my pride for you.”
“I want to be intimate with you. You’ve made it clear time and again that you will not show me your mind or your heart, so the physical the only domain left.”
“I never intended to neglect you—”
“Your intentions then are past and dead,” Celebrimbor cut him off. “Actions in the present are all I want from you.”
“Quite lewd actions to demand, from someone you’ve never even courted.”
“I have hopes for tonight, but very low expectations. I’ve found it a useful approach in general, in this family.”
“What are those hopes? That after so many years of supposedly treating you as my inferior, I’ll suddenly submit to whatever purpose you wish of my new body?”
“That I know is fantastical, as it’s been millennia since you last climaxed. I want to see you bare as you come under my hand, and then follow you myself. Hardly an imposition.”
Curufin blushed. “You think that’s trivial?”
“Compared to whatever required twenty feet of rope and my second-best bronze hammer, yes.”
Curufin sighed. “Celebrimbor, I have had a long day. May we not discuss this in the morning?”
“Kiss me once for real. If you don’t enjoy it, I will let the matter rest for the night.”
“Alright.” Curufin walked up to Celebrimbor and leaned in. The press of their lips awakened something deep in his hroa, that of course he had not felt since he rode out to Doriath so many years ago. The touch was overwhelming bliss, despite what his mind might say about kissing his son.
Celebrimbor broke away first, and Curufin had to stop himself from pursuing.
“Now,” Celebrimbor said, “You cannot deny that was pleasurable.”
It had been in the moment, but now that they stopped all his thoughts came back and it was sickening. “I was not avoiding it out of fear of unpleasantness.”
“But if I enjoy it, and you enjoy it, what more matters?”
“You truly wish to have this of me, tonight, before I even meet any others in this life?”
“I would.”
“There is no other way that you want me in your life at all?”
“You forbid me the roles of vassal and son; I will not have them restored only to be taken away once more when you find a new cause to disagree with me. I will be your lover or I will be nothing to you.”
“You have never been nothing to me. I would make love with you rather than lose you.”
Celebrimbor grinned. “Then let us make tonight a night to remember!” He leaned in to kiss his father’s lips again.
Curufin closed his eyes and did his best to lose himself in sensation.
After a few hours, he came across another elf.
“Hello Curufin.”
“Tyelpe?”
“I prefer Celebrimbor.”
“I’m sorry for what I did-”
Celebrimbor cut him off. “None of your crimes were against me. And I like the person I’ve become on my own, so I won’t hear apologies for leaving me in Nargothrond either.”
Curufin was not expecting that. They walked in silence for a bit.
“I didn’t expect this path to be heavily travelled – I’m surprised I ran into you.”
“It’s not. Lord Irmo notifies the next of kin when someone returns, to help the newly alive adjust. My mother lives in Alqualondë and does her best to stay completely away from Noldor, so she was not considered.”
“And so Irmo notified you?”
“He notified Caranthir, who has been staying at my house.”
“Thank you for coming.”
Celebrimbor nodded.
“I’d be interested to see anything you’ve crafted. By all accounts, you designed amazing things in Middle Earth.”
“Well yes, I could hardly let the name of Feanor be associated with poor quality.”
“What about the name Curufinwe?”
“The name Curufinwe is best known for trying—and failing—to kill a mortal who insulted his pride. Not really a reputation to build on.”
“That’s all?”
“What else would it be?”
“I am a smith, and forged armor that withstood all weapons!”
“What great work did you create? Feanor built the Silmarils and the palantiri. I made the rings of power and the gates of Khazad-dum. But Curufin left no artifacts, no legacy.”
“I created you. I consider that a good legacy.”
“I don’t. I owe little to you.”
“Why then come and walk this far with me?”
“I don’t consider myself Curufinwion, but I have upheld the legacy of Feanor still. I would not leave a kinsman out alone.”
“That’s what you call me? A kinsman, not a father?”
“You said yourself that I was no longer your son if I disobeyed you, so I see no reason to consider you my father. I lived a dozen yeni without you in my life, I am not going to bow to you now.”
“I’m not asking you to. But I still think we know each other better than, say, Aegnor or Eärendil, or anyone ese you might call kinsman.”
“Perhaps. But I am your equal, whether or not you wish it.”
“I never thought you were inferior. Would you accept brothers?”
“I would.”
“It is good to be with family then, my brother Celebrimbor.”
“Indeed it is, my brother Curufin,” Celebrimbor said with a smile.
The two of them made it back to Celebrimbor’s house shortly after nightfall. The front path was lit with a Feanorian lamp.
“Caranthir didn’t wait up or us?” Curufin asked on seeing the dark house.
“He’s staying with his mother tonight. He expected there to be a lot of shouting, and wanted to make sure his own chance to shout at you would be uninterrupted.”
“What about? It’s not like he left a lot unsaid while we were alive, and we died within hours of each other.”
“You’d have to ask him, I stopped keeping track of which family members are angry with each other if it’s not life-threatening; the number of grudges is simply unmanageable otherwise.”
Curufin paused at the gate. “Was Caranthir right to worry about yelling?”
“We’ll see how the night goes. Come inside, I’ll find something for dinner.”
Celebrimbor had bread and vegetables in his kitchen, and fresh eggs form the hens out back, so they ate sandwiches. Talk over dinner was stilted, but not angry.
They washed their plates, standing beside each other at the sink. Celebrimbor brushed against Curufin frequently. When they were done, he leaned in and kissed Curufin on the cheek. He stroked his hand in Curufin’s hair and did not move away.
“Celebrimbor, what are you doing?”
“I thought it was obvious, but I shall try again.” Celebrimbor kissed his father on the lips this time, running his tongue across the seam where his mouth was stubbornly set closed.
After a moment of surprise, Curufin pulled back sharply. “No!”
Celebrimbor stayed where he was leaning against the counter. “Why not?”
“Have you gone mad—even if you wish to forget it, I fathered you. And even if you insist I am now your brother, that is still too close of kin!”
“Stop being so self-righteous.”
“That seems like a poor characterization of not wanting to kiss family members.”
“I am merely enjoying time with my brother in the traditional manner of Feanor’s sons. You’ll have to come with a different reason to drive me away.”
All the color drained from Curufin’s face. “How do you know about that?”
“How do I know that you and Celegorm were fornicating down the hall from me for four hundred years? Give me some credit. And even if I had been stupid enough not to see it then, I led the house of Feanor for half an age—any secrets known to our followers are mine as soon as I wish to know.”
“I never thought you were stupid.”
“Just naïve and childish. Well, I am no longer a child, and I want you.”
“Just because Celegorm and I—”
“And Maglor and Caranthir and all the rest of them, don’t pretend it was exclusive.”
“It still doesn’t mean that I wish to do anything with you, or now.”
“I think you do. I remember how sensitive my body was my first day back. I bet you’re already hard just from one little kiss. Imagine how good it will be if you touch my cock—or yours.”
Curufin moved away. “I will not have sex with the son of my body, the son I raised from birth!”
Celebrimbor made no move to follow, merely crossed his arms and looked levelly at Curufin. “Of course, I will not force you. If you don’t want to lie with me, you can spend the night in Caranthir’s room.”
“And tomorrow?”
“I believe I have made it clear that I have no use for a father. If you insist on treating me as your son, then you can go wherever will take you in. Formenos still has loyalty to Feanor for some reason.”
“That’s it? We haven’t seen each other in literal ages, and you would send me away after one night?”
“There are many others, some who you haven’t seen in just as long, who I’m sure would send you away on sight.”
“Not family—of the house of Feanor.”
“That’s because the rest of the family is dead, not for any virtue on your part.”
“If you think so little of me, wouldn’t you prefer a lover you held in more esteem?”
“I would prefer that you understand I know my own mind. I have had many years to consider this meeting, and what I want from you.”
“And what you want is my body, not my love or my pride for you.”
“I want to be intimate with you. You’ve made it clear time and again that you will not show me your mind or your heart, so the physical the only domain left.”
“I never intended to neglect you—”
“Your intentions then are past and dead,” Celebrimbor cut him off. “Actions in the present are all I want from you.”
“Quite lewd actions to demand, from someone you’ve never even courted.”
“I have hopes for tonight, but very low expectations. I’ve found it a useful approach in general, in this family.”
“What are those hopes? That after so many years of supposedly treating you as my inferior, I’ll suddenly submit to whatever purpose you wish of my new body?”
“That I know is fantastical, as it’s been millennia since you last climaxed. I want to see you bare as you come under my hand, and then follow you myself. Hardly an imposition.”
Curufin blushed. “You think that’s trivial?”
“Compared to whatever required twenty feet of rope and my second-best bronze hammer, yes.”
Curufin sighed. “Celebrimbor, I have had a long day. May we not discuss this in the morning?”
“Kiss me once for real. If you don’t enjoy it, I will let the matter rest for the night.”
“Alright.” Curufin walked up to Celebrimbor and leaned in. The press of their lips awakened something deep in his hroa, that of course he had not felt since he rode out to Doriath so many years ago. The touch was overwhelming bliss, despite what his mind might say about kissing his son.
Celebrimbor broke away first, and Curufin had to stop himself from pursuing.
“Now,” Celebrimbor said, “You cannot deny that was pleasurable.”
It had been in the moment, but now that they stopped all his thoughts came back and it was sickening. “I was not avoiding it out of fear of unpleasantness.”
“But if I enjoy it, and you enjoy it, what more matters?”
“You truly wish to have this of me, tonight, before I even meet any others in this life?”
“I would.”
“There is no other way that you want me in your life at all?”
“You forbid me the roles of vassal and son; I will not have them restored only to be taken away once more when you find a new cause to disagree with me. I will be your lover or I will be nothing to you.”
“You have never been nothing to me. I would make love with you rather than lose you.”
Celebrimbor grinned. “Then let us make tonight a night to remember!” He leaned in to kiss his father’s lips again.
Curufin closed his eyes and did his best to lose himself in sensation.
